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WTF
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Ash89
Posted - 10 June 2018 13:20
I ordered food from Ubereats a few weeks ago whilst staying in a serviced apartment in Melbourne.

That Ubereats driver has messaged me on Whatsapp to see if we can be friends.

What the actual **** ?

*deletes app*
Martian Law
Posted - 10 June 2018 13:24
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I would contact uber. Chances are he's done it to others
Misshoolie
Posted - 10 June 2018 13:35
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You can block people on WhatsApp. But yes definitely complain.

I hate when people I've given my number to for work/some service use WhatsApp to contact me even if they stick to business. I don't know why but it feels invasive.
londoner247
Posted - 10 June 2018 13:38
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I've not used Uber Eats but it sounds pretty poor if it gives your number to the drivers. With Deliveroo, which I have used, the driver can contact you through the app but doesn't get to see your number and you don't get to see theirs. I'd assumed Uber Eats worked the same way but it doesn't sound like it.
King Canute the Great
Posted - 10 June 2018 13:40
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The drivers that pick me up at the airport typically do this. Understandably as it costs money to call / text a foreign number. I don’t mind, but appreciate that perhaps it could be uncomfortable if I were a woman and they went off piste with the messages.
3-ducks
Posted - 10 June 2018 13:42
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More background detail required. Why don't you want to be friends? Wtf happened that you've developed a hostility to a delivery boy?
Ash89
Posted - 10 June 2018 13:43
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I've blocked him and launched a complaint.

I feel bad but he has engaged in unwanted contact several weeks after...

Urgh...
Ash89
Posted - 10 June 2018 13:47
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I feel bad.
Misshoolie
Posted - 10 June 2018 14:06
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You really shouldn't feel bad. He shouldn't be a creep
Misshoolie
Posted - 10 June 2018 14:07
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In the U.K. you could make a massive data breach fuss but no idea what the position is in Oz
Oslama
Posted - 10 June 2018 14:27
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if as your OP suggests its near midnight in melbourne, id say he's lubed up on meth looking thru his phone book
Betty
Posted - 10 June 2018 14:49
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You’ve done the right thing. He needs to be told it’s not on (if he hasn’t already). Imagine if he’d delivered the food to your home.
Cat on a hot tin ceiling
Posted - 10 June 2018 14:53
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I know I am going to get shouted down for this and I am a bit conflicted about it myself tbh but is a one off message asking if you can be friends really 'being a creep'? That seems to over state it a bit.

And at the risk of being a pedant about it, he doesn't know the contact is unwanted until he is told it is unwanted....

Maybe we have reached the stage where engaging in any sort of contact with someone you meet through work that isn't 100% directly related to work is now over the line. Perhaps in some ways that is the only 'safe' approach that can be taken I guess.

Misshoolie
Posted - 10 June 2018 15:00
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He's used her phone number supplied to his employer / agent for professional purposes to make unsolicited contact with her

Yes it's creepy.

It's safe for him to assume the contact is unwanted. He didn't "meet her through work" he delivered some food (and NO it's not a status/ class thing just that he had no reason to think she would welcome this at all)
Misshoolie
Posted - 10 June 2018 15:00
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And it's doubly creepy when it's done by a taxi driver/ delivery driver because they know where you live.
Betty
Posted - 10 June 2018 15:06
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It’s not the same as asking out someone you have come to know through work.

It’s not appropriate and whether it’s crosses the line in to creepy or not, it’s not something you should have to deal with.

Mr Morningstar
Posted - 10 June 2018 15:07
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Oh come on Hoolie. Everyone knows that the *only* reason a burd orders pizza is so she can answer the door naked and have sex with the delivery guy. There are like dozens of documentaries about this on the internet.
Cat on a hot tin ceiling
Posted - 10 June 2018 15:30
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Errm not to be picky but he did 'meet her through work' though didn't he? He was working and he met her (presumably very briefly) when he rang the door bell and handed over the food.

I have no problem at all with the rule being that delivery people must never do this I just wonder where the line is that's all.

If he had been an uber driver and they had chatted in the car for an hour on the way back from the airport and seemed to get on well, would that be different? What if it was 5 minutes chat?

If he had sold her a pair of shoes is that different?

If she had instructed him as counsel (being a professional client) is that different?

There is a clearly a line somewhere if there are circumstances in which making non-strictly work related contact is OK.


Misshoolie
Posted - 10 June 2018 15:34
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He didn't "meet" her he delivered her something.

I don't know what year you left the U.K. but it has never been ok to lift personal data you obtained for a professional purpose and use it to approach someone out of context in this way

You must be very bored or VERY insistent on male entitlement.

Oslama
Posted - 10 June 2018 15:36
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heh Shuber
Cat on a hot tin ceiling
Posted - 10 June 2018 16:09
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heh, tbf I am really quite bored...

I guess Sleepless in Seattle et al will have to be re-categorized as morality tales about horrible data breaches in the modern era.
Misshoolie
Posted - 10 June 2018 16:15
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It's beyond weird you think that works as some kind of diss

Tell us about your nice weekend with your girlfriend / boyfriend cookie?
The_ Italian_Guy
Posted - 10 June 2018 16:48
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Full marks for the humblebrag.

Block the guy, and have done with it. He has messaged you asking if you'd like to be friends. Once upon a time that would have been considered a nice thing.
Capt Haddock
Posted - 10 June 2018 16:52
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as an aside - what did you have in that ubereats order?

.....Meh
Posted - 10 June 2018 19:12
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Did he also send you a dick pic? If not, I think I still win this category.
Misshoolie
Posted - 10 June 2018 19:47
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Oh I had a lovely weekend thanks for asking

It was actually again, again, again and then again, but who's counting.
Budgie Quay
Posted - 10 June 2018 21:13
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Couldn’t the OP have said “errr no thanks and I find this a bit creepy so dont contact me again pls. If you do Ill report it”.

Before actually reporting it?

Isnt that what any normal person would do before taking a step that could presumably get this guy sacked/lose his income?

BTW - I agree that, absent some very clear signals otherwise it is very creepy. But the thing is the world is full of people who are of less than average intelligence, or on the spectrum, or who just for whatever reason have a brainstorm and do something really dumb - and totally misread things. There are a lot of intelligent, often middle class, types who seem totally unable to recognise this or show any empathy for that larger part of humankind who are just not good at social interaction and dont understand the niceties.
Betty
Posted - 10 June 2018 22:02
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And there are a lot of women who come to harm at the hands of such men, so you’ll have to forgive us for finding it a touch unsettling.
Budgie Quay
Posted - 10 June 2018 23:07
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I get that Betty. But tbh you don’t really know if this guy was the sort of person that was going to do harm or just a harmless idiot. I still think in those circumstances unilaterally reporting him was a bit disproportionate.
Misshoolie
Posted - 10 June 2018 23:11
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If you don't know if someone is a harmless idiot or a likely to do harm then it's tough on them basically.

Her safety v his job = diddums
win & tonic
Posted - 10 June 2018 23:22
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Reporting him is probably the right thing to do but not so obviously unequivocally right as to justify sarcastic responses to debate and the "ban him bum him" shouts.
win & tonic
Posted - 10 June 2018 23:25
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(who am I kidding, looking at who is posting)
Jon Snow
Posted - 11 June 2018 00:06
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Completely agree with Budgie here.

Ash, you should have waited to find out if he was harmless or not. You would have found out if he'd done something seriously dodgy. Obviously, it wouldn't be great if you were sexually assaulted, but that's a risk you really should be taking.

You're an intelligent middle-class type. You should have some sympathy for the fact that stupid men want to cross boundaries and behave inappropriately.
Jon Snow
Posted - 11 June 2018 00:08
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And what Madders and Win said. What has the world come to when blokes have to be accountable for their behaviour? Talk about a fvcking overreaction. Typical women.
Good on Paper
Posted - 11 June 2018 00:21
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Classic kind of thing I don't give a shyt about. U guys are fully neurok
Hot Felon
Posted - 11 June 2018 06:52
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Very poor Ash

Usual hysterical overreaction by Hoolie
Hodge
Posted - 11 June 2018 08:11
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Reporting him is fair, but you should at least text him to say you’re doing that so he can start the job hunt. Feels harsh just to contact his employer saying “sack this bloke” without having the courtesy to let him know.

Also, suspect this would be very different in prof services context. My old supervisor got a text out of the blue from a contact at a key client and didn’t think anything of it, despite only having met him for 5 mins. Shagged him and got made up on the back of that client, so all’s well that end’s well.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 11 June 2018 08:40
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Heh @ Jon Snow.

I wonder what it is about some men that makes it try it on with women on the basis of a few seconds' eye contact or a conversation that amounts to, "Here's your pizza." "Oh great, thanks. Bye!"

It's obviously completely different to getting to know someone at work or chatting to someone at a professional event and then exchanging numbers. (Yes, people can be creepy doing that too, depending on the situation, but at least it is on the basis of having had at least one proper conversation.)
Misshoolie
Posted - 11 June 2018 08:43
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Ooh I've been called "hysterical" by an Internet misogynist before 7am

#goals
Cat on a hot tin ceiling
Posted - 11 June 2018 09:03
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Lets be clear here. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to think her safety is at risk.

He doesn't know where she lives (it wasn't her home she ordered the food to). She doesn't (presumably) even live in the same city as the flat he visited. All he has is her mobile number which he has used to contact her, once and as far as the OP tells us only once.

Plus all he asked was could they be friends. There is more than a whiff of 'lets assume all men are sex offenders' about some of this.

He made her uncomfortable by doing something he shouldn't have done. She is of course within her rights to make a complaint but lets at the very least try to keep some sense of perspective about it.

If she has no interest in being in touch with the guy she should probably just ignore him.
Cru de Ville
Posted - 11 June 2018 10:55
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Got to say, I broadly agree with CC as far as this particular contact is concerned, particularly because she wasn't "at risk", he doesn't know where she lives, and the message he sent wasn't pervy or creepy - stupid, yes, but not worrying or scary. Unless there is more to this Ash has told us, I wouldn't have made a complaint, but I would reply to him telling him that he was an idiot for sending such an inappropriate message, and that being such a muppet could have cost him his job. And then delete the app.

Tam
Posted - 11 June 2018 12:27
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I find ‘can we be friends’ way more creepy than ‘I want to **** you’

but then I’m a child of the 80s
Ash89
Posted - 11 June 2018 13:12
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I reported it.

I got a phone call from Ubereats this morning who was very apologetic. I made it clear that I did not want the guy sacked, but did think a conversation about appropriateness wouldn't go amiss.

I ordered a burger with onion rings and coke...over two weeks ago.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 11 June 2018 13:14
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I want onion rings now.
Betty
Posted - 11 June 2018 13:30
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Its something of a cheap shot for men to tell women in this type of situation that they’re over-reacting given that men don’t have to worry about their safety on a day to day basis in the same way that women do.

How many men here have ever taken precautions so as not to be assaulted by a taxi-driver or when catching public transport? How many have ever worried about being beaten up by a girl when they tell her they don’t want to see her any more? How many have had someone on the internet threaten to rape them? How many feel insecure in parking buildings at night?

The problem is that once a man crosses a boundary (even a relatively minor one) you then get left wondering what they might do next. Guaranteed Ash is not the only woman this guy has contacted and he probably knows the home address of others, so they’ll be left hoping that this will be the only line he crosses. I guarantee he will have been told that this type of contact is unacceptable. So why the fvck should it be something that Ash or anyone else should have to put up with?
Bloody Nora
Posted - 11 June 2018 13:39
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What Betty said.

He is probably trying this sort of thing on with lots of woman, some of whom will have had deliveries to their home addresses. If you're young or in any way vulnerable and you live alone, this sort of thing could be pretty frightening.
p1sspoor
Posted - 11 June 2018 15:32
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We can't persecute people based on "they are probably", and it makes you look like you're clutching at straws, unable to condemn him on his actual behaviour, so inventing something else to tar him with.

In the absence of a compelling additional detail, I'm also against reporting him. He wasn't inappropriate. Had he been told no, and then pursued further, I'd say he was overstepping, but he didn't do that. Who hasn't made a mistake? I wonder how many of you have expected (and even received) compassion based on having behaved badly towards a colleague or simply in the office.

I can't help but wonder if you'd be so quick to report a solicitor for this to their law firm, or whether you'd allow more leeway. He's a service worker, and life is bloody hard when you're a low earner. I'd wait til I have a genuine reason to claim someone was "creepy", before taking steps that likely lose someone their job.
Mr Morningstar
Posted - 11 June 2018 15:41
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I note all the eminent legal minds having determined that the delivery driver was aware that these were serviced apartments and consequently it was OK to hit on the temporary residents there especially as he had determined that Ash was no longer there by the time he made his approach.

Christ, are you people taking stupid pills or something?
Misshoolie
Posted - 11 June 2018 15:45
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If a solicitor used my personal phone number obtained by instructing his firm to ask me to hit on me I'd SRA the fvck out of him.
p1sspoor
Posted - 11 June 2018 16:01
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He didn't hit on her, not based on what we've read here. That's not to make any claim about what his ultimate goal was, but we have to judge based on facts not speculation.
Mr Morningstar
Posted - 11 June 2018 16:12
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Judging by the facts on here, you are a moron p1sspoor.
p1sspoor
Posted - 11 June 2018 16:13
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Well, you're abusing strangers on the internet. Kudos to you for defaulting to type. How about you break the abusive trend on the internet, and try articulating yourself without insulting people?
Cat on a hot tin ceiling
Posted - 11 June 2018 16:15
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Morningstar - I don't think anyone has determined that the delivery driver was aware these were serviced apartments (although to be fair might well have been) did they? The point was he didn't know where Ash lives and wasn't even in the same city and so the idea Ash's safety was actually at risk from this guy was a bit daft that's all.
Misshoolie
Posted - 11 June 2018 16:33
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If he didn't know they were serviced apartments then the obvious thing would be to think it was her home

You have no idea whether this man is a risk to women. You'd probably have tried to argue John worboys just wanted a friendly drink.

Everything Betty said and the male entitlement on show here is sadly not remotely surprising.

p1sspoor
Posted - 11 June 2018 16:47
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You have no idea whether this man is a risk to women <<< you never "know" this. Right now, we have a man who has likely lost his job, who's future career opportunities may have been affected, and who has been labelled all kinds of things for simply asking someone if they'd like to be friends. The extreme behaviour and overreaction both lie squarely at Ash's feet. This isn't how capable adults cope with incidental situations that annoy them and solve minor problems.
Perfidious Porpoise
Posted - 11 June 2018 16:50
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But how does "Not interested. Do not contact me again" expose Ash to more danger than reporting him? If anything, making the worst assumption about the guy, the latter may actually be more dangerous?
Tom Linorder
Posted - 11 June 2018 17:11
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Morningstar is gannicus isn’t it.
Hodge
Posted - 11 June 2018 17:15
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Whilst I agree with reporting him for professional misconduct, if the reason people want him reported to uber eats (rather than the Police) is because he is a risk to women, how has reporting him achieved that?

The two options are:

1) He gets a stern talking to, but (in accordance with Ash’s wishes), doesn’t lose his job and the associated access to personal data of women. If he is looking to commit sex crimes, the stern talking to from management at a food delivery firm is hardly going to stop him.

2) He gets sacked, briefly loses access to women’s personal details, signs up with Deliveroo and is back in the same position.

Either way, the risk to women remains the same.

If you think he is likely to commit sexual assault/rape/similar (though I think that’s a lot to draw from one text) tell the Police, not a company whose former CEO was apparently himself a sex pest.
Misshoolie
Posted - 11 June 2018 17:16
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Some of you defending this are trolling because you think this is funny, and some of you really do think it's ok for a man to steal a woman's personal data and approach her and if it has bad consequences for him it's her fault

Either way you are BAD people
A 1ng 1ng time ago...
Posted - 11 June 2018 17:38
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I cant really see how remembering an address you've been to or a person's name ypu've been paid to deliver things to is 'stealing personal data'. Whether it's creepy or not to then google stalk on the basis of such information is a different question. Now worried the electrician i had round at the weekend will think the offer of a bovril was a come on...
Misshoolie
Posted - 11 June 2018 17:40
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He didn't remember her address, he used her phone number.

Srsly be better than this.
shatner's_bassoon
Posted - 11 June 2018 17:54
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General question to everyone in this thread - would your advice be different if Ash was male and the delivery driver was female? If so, why?

This is not an attempt to make a MRA point or anything, I'm just interested what people think.
p1sspoor
Posted - 11 June 2018 17:54
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He didn't steal anything. Why not take offence to your boyfriend abusing people on this board? Your boyfriend is legitimately guilty of creepy, abusive behaviour, and you don't say anything about that. It didn't have bad consequences for him because of sending 1 innocuous message; it's because she went all guns blasing to his boss, rather than handle it like I'd like to think most rational people would - to ask him to stop contacting them, if that was their wish.
p1sspoor
Posted - 11 June 2018 17:59
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At this stage, gender isn't relevant, as it's just 1 message we're talking about, and a polite question at that. No reason for variable advice based on gender right now! It's such an insiginificant event. Baffling it was escalated.
Budgie Quay
Posted - 11 June 2018 18:18
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I don't think what he did was OK, and it was clearly a bit creepy.

On the other hand I think the prevailing assumption that he is very likely a rapist or dangerous is a massive and unfair leap. Every bit as bigoted and prejudicial as we would rightly decry if aimed at minority or other disadvantaged groups. Besides one would have thought that if recent Metoo discussions have taught us anything, it's that high status, wealthy, good looking men are every bit as dangerous a sad desperate deliver drivers.

Seems to me that this guy was probably just a bit of a dim, pathetic, loser who may or may not have had other virtues. Now he's a dim pathetic loser who may or may not have had other virtues - and who is quite probably now without a job and carrying a grudge. Man hands on misery to man...

And as for the personal data schtick. Come on. This bloke's a pizza boy not a data protection officer.

Anyway - the OP has my sympathy. And if what she did was an overreaction and unfair it is certainly understandable.

But having a slightly different view of it does not make anyone else a BAD person or some sort of misogynistic Incel lunatic.


londoner247
Posted - 11 June 2018 18:18
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I have to say that I'm in the "what planet are you guys on" camp with all the "this is an overreaction" messages.

The guy may not be dangerous. He may never have tried this before. The thing is, we don't know that. The only right course of action is to report him to his employer. They might sack him but they might just give him a warning. More importantly, if it is part of a pattern of behaviour and others have reported similar incidents then the employer will be the common factor with a record of that.

If you keep quiet in this situation but later find out that he became a serial sex offender then you'd always wonder if you could have done more.
Budgie Quay
Posted - 11 June 2018 18:28
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You might be right Londoner. I'm on the fence about it. Its certainly a really dumb thing for this bloke to have done. But seemed more like a sad loser than a sex pest to me.
Mr Morningstar
Posted - 13 June 2018 07:47
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And the hysterical responses from my fans...
Asturias es mi patria
Posted - 13 June 2018 07:57
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WTF is right OP

Creepy numpties aren’t going anywhere the burden should be on Uber

I’d report cos Uber should have sufficient software to keep numbers nonny
Ash89
Posted - 14 June 2018 12:36
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I'm guessing he's been sacked because he's called my mobile phone, left a voicemail begging for forgiveness, and also sent me a text...

Urgh...
Misshoolie
Posted - 14 June 2018 12:38
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In the U.K. that would count as haresssment. In Australia it's probably romance who knows

I would report to the police. Copy texts and block
Cat on a hot tin ceiling
Posted - 14 June 2018 13:03
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Thank goodness you didn't just ignore him!

Ash89
Posted - 14 June 2018 13:04
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CC...erm...

Yes, it's my fault.
Cru de Ville
Posted - 14 June 2018 13:06
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Report to the police??? Blimey...

Ash, gotta say, what did you think would happen?

Anyway, if you feel like being kind, I would reply once, telling him that continuing to contact you is a deeply stupid / bad idea, suggest that he stops, and then block. If you can't be bothered to engage (and of course, no reason why you should), I would just block.
Misshoolie
Posted - 14 June 2018 13:07
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This isn't remotely your fault
Cat on a hot tin ceiling
Posted - 14 June 2018 13:09
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Wot Cru said.

Hot Felon
Posted - 14 June 2018 13:14
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"Mr Morningstar
Posted - 13 June 2018 07:4

And the hysterical responses from my fans."

Try and keep her under some sort of control, will you

left-arm wheels
Posted - 14 June 2018 14:09
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Before the latest development in thought:

Reporting him was justifiable
It’s really not ok for delivery bods to be doing this
If it were me I might have stopped short of reporting him and just replied to him saying he should not have contacted me and pls do not ever do so again. I am however a geezer so don’t have to deal with this kind of shyte in real life. Reporting him to uber in the alternative is totally fair enough.

As for the stuff ash has just received that's fvcking creepy. I would deffo tell uber (again). For all you know he was not sacked but ticked off, and he’s thought ‘ fvck that I’m going to contact her again ‘
left-arm wheels
Posted - 14 June 2018 14:10
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*I thought

Not “in thought”
Parsnip
Posted - 14 June 2018 14:11
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she should consider threatening to sue uber for megadolla - on the basis that they have allowed this to happen / allowed her data to be used inappropriately / misused her electronic communications etc. indicate she will go full publicity and agree to settle for 1 lion
Ash89
Posted - 14 June 2018 14:13
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I don't have any place to keep a lion.
Tom Linorder
Posted - 14 June 2018 14:17
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Just make sure you don't get a roar deal.
.....Meh
Posted - 14 June 2018 14:36
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Really rather gobsmacked by the comments that this guy should be deemed harmless until proven otherwise. Have you lot been on the sauce?!

I didn't report the removal guy because I had spoken to him a few times and been able to deduce that he was very young and rather stupid. If he'd just delivered something and I'd had a 10 second interaction I probably would have because I'd have no idea who he was or what he was capable of.
left-arm wheels
Posted - 14 June 2018 14:50
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What removal guy?
Cru de Ville
Posted - 14 June 2018 14:54
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Meh - frankly, I would have thought the fact that the removal man knew where you lived, and - crucially - knew you lived alone, made him far more of a potential threat than this bloke. And, as I remember, your removal bloke was pretty clear that he wasn't looking to come round for an evening of scrabble. Seems to me that, if anyone was to be reported, it would be the stranger who has been in your flat several times, could pretty easily have had a key made, knew you lived alone, and had made it clear he wanted to get to know you, biblically.

Ash's caller was a twit (probably), but most importantly with regard to the "maybe just ignore" advice, has no idea where Ash lives, and lives in an entirely different city anyway.
AwkwardSquid
Posted - 14 June 2018 14:57
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So man sends a txt thing saying wanna be friends.
He is no danger as you are not even in the same country.
You freak out get him sacked.
He called to say forgive me.
He is the bad guy / probs a rapist.

The world is getting so weird!
left-arm wheels
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:00
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Re getting him sacked you have no idea whether that happened u chopper. Uber might just have told him not to do it again

Jethro defends creepy behavior non shocka
Misshoolie
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:02
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is that squid idiot jethro? It can't be he wasn't pro Brexit

AwkwardSquid
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:04
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1. I am not Jethro you tit.
2. Yes it is not related, which is why he up specifically called her to ask for forgiveness.
3. Joey face

Buzz.
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:05
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*wanders in*

*wanders out*
left-arm wheels
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:08
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1. Ok
2. I didn’t say they were unrelated u embarrassing pillock
left-arm wheels
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:13
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Soz in case u are too obtuse to get this, Ash doesn’t know if he’s been sacked. that’s the point.
left-arm wheels
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:14
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in case u are too obtuse to get this, the point I was making was that Ash doesn’t know if he’s actually been sacked.
left-arm wheels
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:19
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Thought my post had died
This website is fooked
AwkwardSquid
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:23
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you are so weird.
Tom Linorder
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:24
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'I'm guessing he's been sacked'

left-arm wheels
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:25
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"guessing"
left-arm wheels
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:26
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u don't need to get too angry on the drivers' behalf squidders, he might still have a job
AwkwardSquid
Posted - 14 June 2018 15:35
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r u trying to bum Ash Wheels?
if so heh@u
if not Pls see my post of 15:23.
Daydream Nathan
Posted - 14 June 2018 16:06
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As if the always stylish and razor sharp Jethro could be that absolute numpty.
AwkwardSquid
Posted - 14 June 2018 16:11
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Hi Jethro /Chimpboy
Daydream Nathan
Posted - 14 June 2018 16:22
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Squid is Osama isn't he? Aren't you supposed to be in hospital?
AwkwardSquid
Posted - 14 June 2018 16:24
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PS My name is not squid.
I am Awkwards Quid
motherfvvekrs